I'm my own Twitter

Friday, August 12th, 2011
Who needs Twitter when I’ve already got enough followers? Shit even stalking ass haters following my ass to only talk shit, stat rumors, bitches better step back and relax cause all that hatin’ is sure enough to turn into a tumor. I’m sick of my situation, my mother having to work while my father sleeps off his agony. But of course, we become projects of our own environment. I have my own baggie filled with colorful pills. My nails, fly as fuck, but I’m owing the bank, my license and it’s hard to live without what people kill for. “Money is a major issue”, I told my mother as she argued with me about “problems”. I told her, “a problem is something time nor money can’t fix”. “We ain’t got any problems mom, don’t worry, I’m gonna handle this”, I asserted her. I don’t give a fuck at this point. My heart is torn, but hey, it happens right? “Wow you have one of those?” asks my boy. I couldn’t even chuckle, as usually brushing off any idea of me having sentimental feelings. I feel neutral. Don’t know what to say, how to say it, so instead, I remain silent in knowing we will never be and all I must do now is give the heart I never knew I had into me, myself, and I. Time to get my mom on retirement and paying them back for putting up with all the years of shit I put them through. Me saying “I don’t give a fuck” is an ignorant way of saying I have tunnel vision. I’m using a lot of profanity because I am hurt. I am mad. My lack of patience blurts ugly words out to paint me out on this page you’re reading. But it is what it is, it’s Friday and there’s no work. Not legal that is. So I’ll continue in the biz and hustle what I can to get where I need to.
As for men, women, and billy goats, ha-that was a joke; I’m just going to keep it real. Just as Rocco said, “we ain’t going steady”. Take it or leave it because money is on my mind, but I do know it’s hard to find a real ass chick that’s as fly and funny as I. That’s why they continue to go through the pain I cause them just to have a taste, of this pretty face, taken in a picture posted on Face Book, just to say “yea, I know/knew that fly pimp, but she did me dirty and left me for that dead prez Benjamin. “Sorry honey, it ain’t you, I’m just… I’m on one”, what else could I say? A lie? Fuck that, not I, not I. Keep moving forward, always today better than the last and we for once are not. I am myself and standing on my own feet. Standing up hard and strong carrying both my sick parents in my arms, tears in my eyes with a mean mug on my face. Try me bitches, Drake said it’s for the taking, and bet he ain’t the only one whose gonna get it.
My time has come. Watch out when I come through. My chest exploded with that muscle pulsating all over and if you ain’t helping me, you’re only holding me down. So don’t get offended when I tell your ass kick rocks, get outta my town. I don’t need ya’ll, only my blood and my real deal friends who know exactly what I’m going through right now. Don’t call me to chill on some dumb shit. I ain’t with it. Pimp status baby, you wanna pay my bills? It’s all good, keep that, go tip the next bitch. I got this. And I put that on my life. Holler at me if you’re on the same tip, cuz I need to keep the real with the real and we need to be making money like spinning that wheel on the Price Is Right. I’m hitting that 100, watch out. Let them say I got $0.05, I’ll blow that place up and take all their cars, yachts, and oh yea, and all their mother fuckin money. GOON. Nah, far from it. I’m a Queen, treat me like one and you won’t get stepped on and left behind. I got a one track mind and that’s to make it, wherever and whatever it is but I will and that’s the pure beauty in my confidence and self assurance. Trying to get up on Manslow’s Hierarchy of needs to up top at self actualization, but so far I’m so far down, reaching high, so close I can see my crown blinging back at me, calling out to me, “Natalie, Natalie…”.
After this expression of hidden emotions, I see the sun meet the ocean and I smile back at it. It’s perpetual beauty is as mine and within a matter of some short time, it will all be mine.