Shanelle

Today I cried.
This time not for sadness but gladness that filled my heart walking through the library doors looking at what I did not know. Approaching near, not much of anywhere else to go, I ask a fellow what is this we see, she replied, “some poets, I think”, oh, I see... I walk further and sit on chair with the stare to this beauty dressed in deep fuscia. Her hair short, her words cut deep. My heart pinned me to my seat and no longer the world was bore. I listened deep because her words pierced my soul. Such dedication melting from her whole. I held my tears in to the vision I saw, oh this beautiful woman not afraid but determined to perform the talent God has bestowed upon her. I could sit there forever and listen to her heart scream out its thoughts and feelings, but soon it came to an end. I arose to applaud all that she knew not what she had done to my heart. Hold the tears in, I signed her mailing list and before leaving, gave her a hug from within. Thanking her for her existence and God’s perfect plan, to make me finish the test I had, at this campus which was never in my plan. A brief synopsis of my ambitions and achievements, not able to buy a cd, I said goodbye. Her father replied, and my attention she took, he bought me a cd in which I took, into my hands held close to not part, her signature to me a message from her heart. “Start Something” is the name and as I walked away the tears were not refrained, pouring down my face my heart smiling, feeling the confirmation of what God has planned for my life.
Today I cried. For many reasons, but right now it is because I know that this feeling is the “Start” of “Something” right.

Thursday night

I enter, and turn. My back to the empty room my feet cold on the floor. Craving to share all my insights and days wonders, my mind wanders-away to that negative place where they lay and show me they don’t care. All I say goes in and out and all they do is shout at my short comings. Tears never running short, I close and lock the door. Turning off the lights crying alone in silence. Shh, to a whisper, no whimpers, they will hear and come near to judge and curse me with all that makes me fear.
I have a dream. But in this dream I never see them in the crowds in which the words of God flow diligently from my mouth. The place where I stand high and strong like the first time I saw a goddess sent to make born in my heart a decision that I will not look back, nor will I stay behind in line or the back of the bus where no one knows my name. Even if they are not there, even if they don’t care, I am here and know there will be more who will adore what I have to share.

To infinity and beyond...

Eager to spread the word of my work, in hope to begin the end of working for others, I began this blog to share my thoughts and poetry. So far, so simple yet simple isn't giving me what I want.

Speed, speed, trains speeding by as the flashing of lights
Loud noises distracting my fears to a halt of entrepreneurship of ideas
Ideas dormant, distances between, working my ass off- trying to stay clean.
Staring at the world, spinning speeds of trains insane in minds afar in a place where desire meet not what is required for-living.
Hair blown in the wind,
Eyes squinted
Fears gone, long gone
Settled for the less that makes my heart regress
To a place of peace and greatness
Where shedding is acclaimed
Brilliant determined brains
Engaging in experimental exercise, to and fro

At a stop
Whistles blowing
Exhaust
Slow down to a collapse
Realizations' trip to actualization
Back to where I began, knowing what I have planned.
Fear.
Overcoming.
The beginning of this in hope for that
The journey is now and this is the road