Love Jones

Got me jone'n
I can’t wait
For that moment where I
No longer wait.
In that cold room
Heated by your warming smile
Touching my back
Caressing fingers gliding across
My eyes closing to the exhale of my breath.
Tears rolling down
Feeling cold on my neck
Painted pictures in them playing over and over
Of your hold, so close
Tight and gentle
I feel home
I open my eyes
And I am here
Alone.

Bruising

Low and disgusted,
I leave you sitting in the dark, lonely, still room where only the pouring rain is heard.
Cleansing isn’t it? Not quite.
Your manly hands wrapped around my neck depleting the life force from my fragile body sprouts Christmas trees of hate within my loving heart.
You nourish its growth with slaps in the face, bondage, and worse of all, your words.
I hate you. No, I hate myself for loving you.
Such nonsense, why do I stay? My nails pierce your skin until blood seeps through.
I hurt you. No, I hurt myself for hurting you.
There is silence.
Nothing but the refreshing rain that seems not to cleanse a bit of this torment that now lay dormant in this home.
My heart aches, but it’s used to it.
My mind is weary, my being exhausted of being hurt.
I hate you. No, I hate myself for loving you.
I wonder if it’d stop…?
I guess you can compare it to the rain. Sometimes so strong you can’t leave the house. Then suddenly-nothing. You think it’s safe but here it is, back again, spontaneous in its nature.
Will we ever be? Can this ever be? Should it?
We occupy separate rooms and think of the misery we lay in.
I wish I could close my eyes tightly, pray, and wake up to concrete happiness.
With you…?
It’s so sad, but true.

Lucky for You

Learning to let go, learning to move on, I hold on to reality, living life strong.
Yes you hurt me, yes I hated you,
But I’m sick and tired of my heart, being betrayed by you.
So instead of leading myself on for more disaster, instead of continuing to open the wound,
I shut the door behind me, forever- I exit the room.
I can only remember the pleasurable times; I try my best to forget the rest.
The days I lay bruised and crying, the days you left me for all the others.
The days you said you’d love me forever, the last day of physical abuse.
I will go on today and the following and thereafter, I will succeed with all I pursue.
You’re existence in my life will never be forgotten; forever your picture will be painted in my memory.
I can never forget the endless days of blissful moments that only consisted of us two.
At least you have that to remember.
Lucky for you.

Back at One

Escape from within, torturing my skin.
Swallowing whole this handful of pride
it scrambles me completely, tearing up my insides.
My mind spun around.
When it stopped,
no one was to be found.
Not even I,
No, I was lost myself in a dreaded place like nowhere else-
I’d been before.
Cold, confused, I’m not wearing shoes.
My shirt is ripped, my hair is a mess.
What happened here?
I haven’t a clue.
In reality I confess this life was a test,
that I cheated on and now have to return to the grade where I started from.
Back at one.

Cake

Her nipples taste soft and sweet as they stood at attention before my very touch. Her shirt lay freely over here bare body. I caress my hand from her side to her belly button then up to her breasts squeezing them gently as her head knelt backwards exposing her long, shiny dirty blonde hair waving in the wind. My right hand on the small of her back, I raise her towards me and kiss her neck. She moans, her breath thickens, I slowly polish her smooth thighs with my left hand and she begins to tremble as I get close to her warm, throbbing, pink flesh that births attention and direction to needs only I can meet.
Soft, sweet, sensual, I taste her flesh as she grabs my hair pulling me to and fro.
She pulls off my shirt, my rings twinkle as her eyes smile, she grabs at me and we continue.
We’re at a restaurant. Sitting at a table, eating. Where does all this sexual activity begin? Ah, I remember. The lust floating in the air between us grew drastically and I, confident in my passionate desires went in for the kill. I did not care of my surroundings. I had one mission and one mission only to achieve and conquer.

I never knew the world so blue

Blue, blue, blue. The sky is a reflection of those underneath. Sometimes sunny, the rays of beauty alarming the skies pigments breaking all rules of conformity. Streaks of magical enlightenment painted through air as we look and realize how ugly we are. Deep, dark, dense.
The universe, so immense. Dark, dark, like my heart, heart. Cold outside, shivers my body.
I look up at the stars and beg to be brought outside myself.

What a Jerk

Torn between two, my life has come to a fork in the road force feeding me to choose.
Whose heart to break, maybe I can play some more, maybe take her on another date…
I search quick-slick answers to help me face her tears, her heart breaks whining out replaying my actions to my ears.
And all I can think of- are solemnly thoughts, all through the brain and never feelings coming from the lack of my heart.
I see it tare her apart. But I also am one who is torn, torn between the love of two…
This love triangle has become a mess, I found myself stuck in the middle, who knew?
She pours out her heart, I pour another glass.
I take another sip, wine slithering down my throat; I close my eyes and relax my mind.
Never dismayed, my mind remains on player time. Not in the room with her, instead out, aloof, picturing more hunnies, soon to call mine.
She leaves, the other calls, a smile forms of the new love being born.
Just over conversation, that soon brings me into temptation and out I go,
Running into her world where I am just a squirrel, a sneaky little rodent looking for a nut.
She has no clue, not at all an idea of when I leave her what I do-
The other cries, she smiles, they balance me out. Selfish I maybe, this I’m not in doubt.
But it’s all a game in which I play, I play well and well, I like to get laid.
I hear it all, but none of it really sinks in. They are all human and I, inhumane.
A little here, a lot more there, I switch up between the two and leave them all misconstrued.
I come home at night and as I lay in my bed, I smile.

Fallen

I once was a bird,
Soaring high above others.
In the Sky, swimming-
Careless to the touch.
Carefree, no problems or worries,
Free, free, free, far away,
Yet still in touch with my own reality.
The day came and went,
The sun set.
The pale blue moon rose.
I reached for the skies no more.
Instead, drowned in the deep blue.
Down, down, down- deep into it,
Until it’s color turned dark coal.
The green pastures were no more,
All around me- coal.
Cold, dense, alone, I suffer the consequence,
And shiver at my downfall.
I cry out-
But no one hears, for I am alone at the bottom of the pit.
Alone, deranged, hurt.
I see a light, tiny yet there.
I energize and reach for it,
Begging to be pulled away.
I start to climb, and here I am.

Hey There Delilah

I know one day you’ll be done with it
and I’ll be making history with my thoughts.
More in love with you I fall,
and break my face.
I’d give anything.
My lung,
my kidney,
my last breath.
And yet, you’d pawn it for a 30 minute joy ride.
I hide myself from the world.
Ashamed.
Disgusted by actions.
My pride blind you out of.
And yet you remain
My sunshine.
The light in my darkness.
The keeper of my fragile heart.
I sit here alone.
No tears left to cry.
Nothing left to say.
The rain starts.
My emotions are dormant.
Your hands awaken my shivering being.
All negative is forgotten.
Say not what bad you’ve done,
just keep going baby,
make me cum.
Your body,
your touch,
your humorous ways,
the way you make me feel.
I can’t take it anymore,
I climax.
Let go of all my fears.
Lying here,
In our puddles,
as you stare down at me,
Telling me you love me
with those beautiful crystal blues.
I am lifeless.
I am high.
Living in the moment,
Thinking of you,
Desperately-
awaiting your return.