Wirlwind (SDE)

4:18am
10-26-16
Wednesday

Curled up, he
lay beside my sleepless
self
there are no cuddles
no kisses good night
no hands held
nothing felt
Just me
with my cup
a glass
with a taste of a
spirit I tired of
years ago
He lay quietly beside
me
as my typing keeps him
awake and aware
I wonder if I'd get up, leave,
if he'd follow..?
Pretty sure of it.
We both are children
lost in a big park
without parents
money
care
or fare
to ride anything
worthwhile.
We chase each
other
around
and laugh
the smiles, the giggles
they are -
what makes us, "us"
for without it, we'd
be dead
instead, life fills
our dormant lives
with a sort of
happiness, even if brief,
that reminds us
there is no world
outside of this
moment.
We
are
the world
nothing else exists
why should it?
how could it?
the tiny kitchen space is the
playground, in which
we poke and hide from
his father
haha, he knows
and knows better
than to
come into our
childish party of
laughter and made up
world
no one can enter
they wouldn't-
couldn't-
understand anything we
do in there
and so, I smile at
you
laughing
at
me..
with all our clothes
on and distant
bodies attracted to
opposite sides,
we lay in bed
I turn to you
caress your thin gray tank
top, covering all but your
arms
I feel your warmth, your
breathing and hear your
snores
you are alive
I am awake
and so, I pray, please
or please not-
God, grant me
another day.

4:39am