How is it that you want to live your life?

The joyous cheers all around me make me feel less than what is, but in reality is not, just temporary reliefs of reality through small, or even big amounts of flights away from their unique home called their souls. I beg myself away from it all with pain in my heart and distress on my mind. Sometimes it last enough till old age where your organs no longer function as they once did when you were but a child running through yards, blowing bubbles, with nothing but smiles and squinted eyes on your face. Twenty five years later, here I am. Holding my head high enough for onlookers to see and make their own assumptions of my whole being. It’s never wise to judge a book by its cover, but today in time, we look from vain eyes foreseeing nothing more than the painted picture of beauty, when the insides are corroded by adjusted time in the world of misery. We can never do that, but we are all sinners ad do what we want, forgetting the higher power in all of us that screams and pulls away towards the lighter side of the broken neighborhood we all dwell in. We’re all alone in our own egg shell. We hatch not knowing anything of our surroundings but what we are told. Where is the real truth? It’s far gone.. Gone away in a place where few find and the rest of us just act like the zombies, roaming around, purposeless. Only food and pleasure involved in our undeveloped lives. IN a spot where we just be, not thinking of anything else, no ambition, other wise knowledge beyond our perfect highs and lows. An extra shot? Pass the cigarette. My mind numbs itself as the Bacardi takes effect and I hold on tight to the burning world. I see my angel. I look down at myself and flick away the butt that always comes to an end.