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7-8-12

He's gone

Im hurt

I hurt

Him

His loss 

was my gain

My restrain

his attempt

to uncover

discover

my heart

open it up

make a home inside

my part

was to not

part-

ways from my mind

ignoring feelings

starring only into thoughts

only logics

feelings to be muted

my mind thought

my heart now feels

and to this very moment

he is no where near

only getting farther and farther away

from the dismayed face

that awaited his late night arrivals

with such disgust

and annoyance 

for I was of myself

I opened my heart

started to talk

and it all came out

I was soft

soft as a newborns head

that I held gently with one hand

quieted as he opened his eyes to stare into my mine

Luke

I am not your father, nor your mother

but the your life I saw deep into 

through those softly opened eyes

as you stopped to cry

you stopped to cry, looking into my eyes

I asked for something 

something to an extensive extreme

more than I would know what to do with

more than I thought I ever would need

and the answer was not as I expected

instead my heart, I felt it

felt it was always there, always true

I already knew, I already knew.

Home at last, the moment went by so fast

I got lost in words 

actions moved fast

I looked for him and he was gone

for he had to leave,

leave and continue on

And now I rest

reminiscing of the times 

where misery was only a mirage that caused me to pain myself

and never move on.